back to school

Today was the first day back to school, yay! I was so excited to see everyone...I missed you all! I am so ready to go back to school! :)

butterflies?

I get so nervous when I am with him...I get scared to hold his hand or snuggle up to him. I love being with him...but I get butterflies. Ha ha everyone says that is a good thing, I just wish I could get rid of the butterflies and just be a cute couple instead of being scared of everything. UGH!!!!

thanksgiving

So Courtney just for you I have made a new resolution to start blogging again. It is Thanksgiving day! :) I have been sick for a week, BIG the musical just ended, I am now a senior, Courtney is back to visit, college applications are due in the next couple of days, and a lot has changed. I guess that I am just going through more change in a short period of time than ever.
I have been thinking a lot lately, it is actually probably just because BIG ended. Oh man that show was crazy, lots of crap happened but we ended up putting on a good show in the end. Okay here is my crazy story about the show, Rachel had a demon baby. If you insulted the doll bad things would happen to you. And I finally got what was coming to me, Monday night the night right before closing I got really really sick. I completely lost my voice the night of closing and I felt super bad. I was so glad I had Austin ha ha he saved me...yet again.
I guess I am just kind of feeling lonely. Courtney is only back to visit me for a week, and I am going through withdrawls from the show. I have spent every minute of everyday with the cast and that is all I want to do right now. I want to go back to the school and be with everyone who I have become so close to ha ha. I actually am excited for school to start again so I can have a social life.
It is Thanksgiving so I just have to say thanks to everyone who has mattered or made a difference in the last little while.
1-I am so thankful for people Michael, Courtney, Shay, Lexi, Rachel, Chelsea, Kaytie, Ryan, Adam Smith, Adam Mosely, Ms. Nudd, Ms. Nelsen, Thayne, Hunter, Jaymie, Austin, Noah, My mom, my dad, Makenna, Makayla, Connor, everyone else who was in the cast of big, all of the seniors who left for the last two years, and everyone else who I haven't mentioned
2- I am thankful for the opportunity to have a job, to go to school, and to be a member of the church
Okay so basically now that I have started thinking of all of my blessings I can't name them all. So I guess I am just thankful for life, I am thankful for the air in my lungs, and the opportunity to sing and dance and touch people, and have people and things in my life that touch me and bless me. I just love everybody.
I feel like this blog is kind of cliche but I have been thinking about it for a really long time and I just needed everyone to know how much I love them and I feel blessed by them. So there is no better time to tell everybody that I love them than Thanksgiving.
I LOVE EVERYONE!!!!!!!

vacations :)

I just got back from St. George :D it was so much fun! we went on tons of hikes and went swimming almost everyday and we saw the little mermaid at Tuachan!!! AH! basically I want to marry prince Eric now because he is so attractive and sooo sweet ha ha and I just love him. It was way wonderful it was great. And then on Saturday I went to the 100th anniversary of the Joseph Smith memorial building and I got to sing and spend the day with my best friends :) Courtney ha ha her skirt was way too long and everyone kept stepping on it and she almost lost it a couple of times ha ha it was so funny! Lexi her hair was huge! but she looked beautiful and elegant as she always does. ha ha Derek Vansteeter :) looked like Indiana Jones ha ha :) it was so funny I have lots of pictures. I spent the day chilling with my friends and then I went to lagoon with my family which was fun but I was soooo tired I became grumpy very quickly and I was ready to go home. Then Sunday came and we were pretending that we were still on vacation and we didn't go to church, later (after I woke up) I went with Courtney to a party and then we hung out at her house and I watched her clean her room for like 2 hours ha ha so it has been really an extremely fun wonderful week since school got out and now I get to work so it is still going to be fun :) AH! yay summertime!

SUMMER TIME!

Okay summer time is nearly here! YAY! school ends tomorrow and I have to go to graduation. bleah but it is gonna be fun to watch all of my friends finally graduating and moving on. :) mine doesn't come until next year though ugh! This year is going to be the greatest summer ever! I have the best friends in the whole world who are going to hang out with me all of the time and I am going to be working and getting money for New York next year! YAY! ah I am just so excited to for summer!!!!!!

TITANIC!

Okay so Titanic is in less than a week!! YAY!!! I am so excited but at the same time I am so nervous. My character is Mrs. Charlotte Annie Tate Collyer, and she goes on the titanic with her husband Harvey and her seven year old daughter Marjorie. Anyway in real life she gets aboard a lifeboat and she lives with her daughter, but her husband dies. I have been doing research on her and I honestly cannot even think about her without crying. How would it be to leave everything, everything that you live for, all of your hopes and dreams on the ship with your husband. To look at the ship and watch everything you have lived for plunge beneath the surface completely gone? Yea I can't even fathom the emotion that must have happened that night. In our show my character and her daughter and husband die. Today I said a prayer to heavenly father and asked him if he would just let me become her even if it is for just a short time. Well he let me become her just like I asked. I cried so hard I couldn't stop and now I am home and I just stopped crying. I mean how would you like to look into the eyes of your daughter, the person you are giving up everything for so that they can have a wonderful life, and know that in just a few short moments all hope is going to be lost? and then look into the eyes of your husband and friends and just have to...I don't know give up. What else is there to do? you have no reason to fight anymore. All the lifeboats are gone. All you can do is wait for the inevitable. Yea it was quite a scary feeling, and I cried. I don't know, Titanic, everything really, everything real with real emotions we sometimes just look at facts because we can't look at the emotion or the people and think of them as real. It is scary to think that all of these awful things happened to all of these people, to think of the fear. I mean to think about any disaster such as a war or anything, because when you really look deep down inside of a person everyone is human. You can't just simply look at the facts of everything. People matter, and their stories matter and they deserve to have them told and remembered. You honestly can't just look at the facts because there is just so much more that you can get. The lesson from the Titanic is that everyone is human. In the end it didn't matter how much money you had, and it didn't matter what race or how attractive or anything like that. What mattered was the relationships that everyone had made in this life. Everyone was afraid, and everyone was going to die. Death doesn't take payments. So don't live your life for the money, just enjoy life and chill out a little bit. Everyone dies at one point or another so just treat everyone right, you don't have a reason to do otherwise. Because honestly in the end all that matters is how you conducted your life, and how your relationships with everyone around you were. don't make people cry, or make them hurt, you never know how much you have time you have left, and if you look back at your life with regret then you will realize with bitterness how much you really missed out on, there are some wonderful beautiful people in this world, everyone has a story. Let it be told. that is all I needed to say ha ha sorry for my rant. :) okay good evening everyone I hope you all sleep well!

PANCAKES!

ha ha tomorrow I am going to the ACT and then going out to get free pancakes with Lexi!!!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha life is sooooooo great!!!!! :D