I am just feeling incredibly sad today. My parents went to my favorite place in the whole world while I was left here all alone. I stayed so I could work at a new job in which I may not even be able to start until next week. I have lots of friends who are back but no one is answering. I can't turn in my mission papers until after I get a root canal. I am feeling incredibly overwhelmed and I can't help feeling like I have done something wrong. I feel like maybe I didn't actually pray hard enough about this job, or maybe a mission. I was told that once I turn in my mission papers bad things will start to happen, I just didn't realize that what happens most happens internally. The Lord is my light, and it is upon him alone sometimes that I must stand.

I believe in Christ—my Lord, my God! My feet he plants on gospel sod. I’ll worship him with all my might; He is the source of truth and light.

I really don't need more friends. I just need better ones.

Sometimes life is surreal. Not for any particular reason, just because it is. I sometimes look at myself and wonder how I got here, and why I am here. When I think of my life as a whole I wonder why I have to live so long in order to prove myself worthy to go back to Gods kingdom. Each day, each moment seems so small and insignificant how can any of it matter. One bad hair day isn't going to ruin my life, being late for work isn't going to change the course of my eternity. However life is somehow made of little moments and little decisions that lead to big ones. Life is so fragile,the decision made in a singular moment can change your life. It is filled with moments of such intense sorrow and pain, but moments of so much happiness you feel your heart may burst. So maybe enduring to the end is just learning how to hold onto all those moments where we feel the intense joy and happiness.

My last post...super happy. Todays post...super not. I am not going to sleep ever again because if I do I will lose precious time to study for my surprise test on Tuesday and Wednesday!!!!! ugh! :( I HATE BIOLOGY WITH THE PASSION OF EVERYTHING EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!

Just thought that you all should know that sometimes I am incredibly witty and clever :) I mean just look at my blog title! ha ha I am just in a really good mood right now. I went to church and had an awesome testimony meeting and I got an answer to my prayer. Also I realized how many friends I have made, because it took us like an hour to get out of the building because we kept stopping to talk to people that are our friends. So yeah, life is pretty awesome today.

Sometimes my heart is so full it spills out my eyes. I cannot contain the great love that has filled my soul since I realized I am going on a mission. I love everyone. I want everyone to be blessed with what I have already. I think about my mission, not just the eighteen month one but my life long one. My mission is to go home, to heavenly father and take as many people as I possibly can with me. I am so blessed to have the friends I do. I have spent all weekend crying and laughing and dancing and then crying again because I am so happy and grateful all at the same time. Oh how gracious is God. His love is sufficient for not only me, but for all of mankind, and now I get to share his love. He gave us living prophets so that we could hear beautiful messages like this. I am so grateful to all of my best friends who all decided to go on missions too. :) This is so crazy, a whirlwind eight months and then I am out there in the mission field. I love this gospel!