Changing

This is insane. My entire life is going to be different starting today. In the course of 5 days everyone is going to be gone and moved out and far away. I am going to be gone and I am so scared. You know I thought I was really ready for everything, and now all of a sudden I want to reverse the clock and be the little girl who dug holes in a ditch and threw snakes at telephone wires. I wonder how everything is going to change me...will I even be the same person? Or will I become a harder person who doesn't love life as much as I do? AH! I absolutely hate the what if games they make me crazy! Well anyways I have already had many tears and I am not expecting to have dry eyes for a while, it comes in freaking waves at the most inopportune times...like at work! Ugh! I guess it is just coming no matter what there's no going back now.